Call...

this is for my best friend...

this is the last letter i'm writing you.
a while ago, i didn't think that this would be the case.
instead, i dreamed of
La-Z-Boys and lawn care
mini vans and Mini Wheats
Sunday naps and serenades
Gerber foods and graduations.

i don't have a better way to say i am gonna miss you,
other than in a poem.
i sketched these words on the walls of the mind that imprisons me.
i read and rehearsed them again and again with each open
and close
of my eyelids.

i AM studying.
i study you harder than for any exam or college course.
your lips, your eyes,
your voice, your sighs.
and i thank Heaven for this photographic memory.

today we packed
so many memories into boxes and bags,
stuffed your car full of them for the ≈4,500 second trip
from me to... well, there,
but these memories play on repeat like my most favorite movie.

i think i'll ride the bus today.
i won't turn this pencil tip upside down and
erase
the romance novels you've written on me
nor
whitewash the elegant murals you've painted so carefully
with your delicate fingertips.
each one a bristle on the
paintbrush appendages that have
splattered
a masterpiece of colors and hues on this
canvas life of mine.

autumn leaves and skipping stones are for us.
i might be cheesy and a little cliché,
but I DON'T CARE,
because you know i know that if i said it
with an accent it would be
sweet and sensitive.

i've been lost in your
smile
more times than
Waldo in a crowd at New Year's Rockin' Eve.
if you're wondering, yes
i do still get nervous and my palms
sweat
whenever you're around.
i st-st-stutter at the thought of the
first and the last
"I love you"
hoping that it's not a lifetime before
i hear it escape your tulips again,
like John Dillinger fleeing from his
life sentence in a
midnight prison.

i've never been good at "goodbye"s
nor "see you later"s for that matter.
hell, i suck at "hello"s,
i don't know how i am supposed to do
this.
with you leaving, all my words
leave with you.

this is the last letter i am writing you,
the omega of them all.
but if you ever need to hear 3 words then
all you have to do is call...